The charts below show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014

#show #percentage #volunteers #organizations

The pie graphs demonstrate the volunteers' proportions in institutions in two different years, 2008 and 2014.

Overall

, the education funds held the highest perceptual value among organizations

while

the health care segment described the lowest percentage in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

both given years.

Moreover

besides

having a considerable number, the rest of the institutes showed small quantities in each graph. Regarding the first chart, 24% of volunteers belonged to educational foundations, followed by environmentalists and art grantees, at 21% and 18%, respectively. Only 7% of charitable people helped health care institutes.

Thus

, the

last

30% were divided between

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

and other organizations. In terms of the

second

pie chart, the percentage of environmental unpaid workers grew

Change preposition

by 8

show examples

% in comparison to 2008, reaching 29%. A quarter of the voluntaries supported

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

foundations, which demonstrated a significant percentage increase.

On the other hand

, the health care proportions remained

steadily

Change the word

steady

show examples

, at 8%,

while

the participation of the environmental and the other

decrease

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

significantly, obtaining 17% and 9% in

this

order.

In addition

this

slight fall was

also

observed in volunteering in art, which went down from 18% to 12% in 2014.

Submitted by lufemurta on Wed Dec 22 2021

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

186 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The charts below show the percentage of volunteers by organizations in 2008 and 2014

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by providing at least six years of free education for each child, so that all children can read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do you think it is better for students to work before their university study? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice?

Some people believe that companies should manufacture products that last for a long time. Others feel that the emphasis should be placed on producing cheap goods. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays more and more people are using media like TV or online platforms to read news instead of reading newspapers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?