Some people believe that song lyrics which glorify violence and criminal lifestyles should be banned. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of such a ban.

#people #song #lyrics #violence #lifestyles #ban

Nowadays

song

lyrics

become very flexible and

freedom

Replace the word

free

show examples

Songs

can have

vairy

Correct word choice

various

show examples

kids of jungles and different types.

Therefore

this

comes

out

Change preposition

with

show examples

some

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

. Some people think that

lyrics

that are written in some violent words or

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

criminal

thinks

Correct your spelling

things

show examples

should be removed.

This

essay discusses the benefits and drawbacks of

this

type of issue.

First,

the advantages of

listening

Add the preposition

listening to

show examples

song

that has written violent words or criminal lifestyles can reduce our pressure. The

song

with violent

lyrics

usually is written about the darkness in our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

or the dark side in our minds. Listening to those

lyrics

sometimes can let us be

securer

Replace the word

secure

show examples

and be understood.

For example

due to

feeling bad or having some sad feeling, listening to those

songs

will let us feel better.

On the other hand

, there are

also

some disadvantages to those

songs

. Some children or students will have a bad impact because of listening to those violent

lyrics

they will have criminal actions or bad behaviour.

For those

Change preposition

Those

show examples

children or students,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

might think that it will be cool to do the same thing as

lyrics

Correct article usage

the lyrics

show examples

or they

went

Correct your spelling

want

show examples

to show off themselves and have more friends in the school.

Furthermore

, there are no ways to stop the

song

that has been public, even though there are bad effects on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society they can’t be

stooped

Correct your spelling

stopped

show examples

. The only thing we can do is to teach students or young people not to be affected by those

lyrics

. In conclusion,

songs

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

written about violence and criminal lifestyles can bring goodness and

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

to use. Those

songs

are a double-edged sword. It can let us reduce our pressure but

also

can lead the young generation to criminals.

Submitted by celinelee0903 on Thu Dec 23 2021

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task response

Be more specific with your examples and provide additional details to support your points. Make sure to clearly respond to all aspects of the task question.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that your ideas are logically organized and connected throughout the essay. Use transition words to improve the coherence and cohesion of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that song lyrics which glorify violence and criminal lifestyles should be banned. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of such a ban.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on local works rather than showing the cultures or artworks from other countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

Some people believe that the internet has made books and libraries obsolete. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Provide reason and support with examples.