The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days ,most minors play video
games
Use synonyms
,listen to music and see movies that consist of
violence
Use synonyms
and it is making them worry around the community .We will discuss the most serious problems arising ,and
also
Linking Words
two ways in which the situation can be improved . Undoubtedly the main anxiety is
children
Use synonyms
learn from what they see or play .In other ,words if
children
Use synonyms
see
violence
Use synonyms
,they will have harsh behaviour and do it on their friends or family .
As a result
Linking Words
,they become uncontrollable .
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
affects their nerves and they become nervous and angry during the period of their childhood .When
violence
Use synonyms
and bad vibes affect them ,their family cannot control them easily . Two means of tackling
this
Linking Words
problem is restriction and psychology.
First
Linking Words
, the family should restrict their
children
Use synonyms
.It means
children
Use synonyms
can play video
games
Use synonyms
every day but one hour not longer or even they can use longer but the type of these
games
Use synonyms
should not have any
violence
Use synonyms
.For ,example comedy
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
and car's
games
Use synonyms
can be
Add an article
a
show examples
good
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
.
Second
Linking Words
,talk to a psychologist and ask for some remedy for harsh and angry behaviour .If the child needs some treatment , the family should take the child to a doctor . To conclude ,anxieties which mentioned like they will behave harsh and become angry can be solved
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
preventing minors from seeing and playing rough video
games
Use synonyms
and speaking to a psychologist .
Submitted by saramivehchin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Desensitize
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Antisocial behavior
  • Bullying
  • Stress-related disorders
  • Media literacy
  • Critical evaluation
  • Age-appropriate media
  • Regulations
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Responsible media consumption
What to do next:
Look at other essays: