IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Computers are now the basis of the modern world. They should therefore be introduced into classrooms, and their programs used for direct teaching purposes. However, dependence on computers in teaching may carry a certain degree of risk to students. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#computers #basis #world #classrooms #programs #purposes #dependence #risk #students
Nowadays, the learning process from kinder to the highest degrees studies, are depending on
computers
. Computer operation is a piece of basic knowledge
that is
 an essential thing to know by children since they were primary.
On the contrary
, due to dependency, there are several risks they will feel for the long term of operating
computers
.
Such
 as myopia for a long
time
 and migraine while seeing the screen too long. I strongly agree with
computers
 being introduced to kids as shortly as their go-to school.
However
, teachers and parents had to limit their screen
time
 to avoid risks. Several injuries could happen by seeing into the
computers
 for a long
time
.
Computers
 screens have radiation that makes our eyes exhausted. And it proved where numerous kids have already got myopia since kindergarten. Consequentlyscreen
time
 should be controlled either by parents or teachers, From various points of view, computer skills are highly demanding in any job's requirement. Since technology is massively developing and easily accessible, Students could gather all the knowledge and information in only one device. So
computers
 as a medium have to be introduced in the classrooms earlier. A computer is the best device to use in the modern era, could help teacher-guided students gain more information faster and conveniently. Whereas, there are some negative impacts due to reliance on
this
 device. So, children had to utilize
computers
 for educational purposes and get a parental supervisor to reduce any harmful side effects.
Submitted by mghazya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: