IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #students #study #science #food #school #time #subjects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a community that would say learning the
science
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 and knowing how to prepare it is important. Somehow, some people argue with that statement and agree to fill up the student schedules with main
subjects
Use synonyms
. It is quite important for
children
Use synonyms
 to study what they will eat to achieve healthy habits earlier, but
food
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 can be taught by their
parents
Use synonyms
 outside the schools. In my point of view, learning the
science
Use synonyms
 of fo It will be a
disaod
Correct your spelling
discard
discord
disco
 will be a relaxation time after learned boring materials and will
gained
Change the verb form
gain
show examples
 their mood to face the
next
Linking Words
subjects
Use synonyms
. By teaching the students how important
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 diet
sooner
Add a missing verb
is sooner
show examples
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
Children
Use synonyms
 will easily
adapted
Change the verb form
adapt
be adapted
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 clean
food
Use synonyms
 and
less
Add a missing verb
are less
show examples
 likely to eat junk
food
Use synonyms
 because of knowing how bad it is.
In addition
Linking Words
, obesity happened to someone do not know what is happening in their body and will be a bad decision if it
stay
Change the verb form
stays
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 shape.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 obesity
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 a lot
organ
Change preposition
of organ
show examples
 disease that could be
a complications
Correct the article-noun agreement
complications
a complication
show examples
Correct your spelling
someday
show examples
some day
Correct your spelling
someday
show examples
. So it will be a good idea for
children
Use synonyms
 to
educated
Add a missing verb
be educated
show examples
 since they were young.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think schools are a place for just learning important
subjects
Use synonyms
. If
children
Use synonyms
 only learned important
subjects
Use synonyms
, they will get bored easily and will not enjoy the others
subjects
Use synonyms
. Like mathematics, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
's will say they hate
that
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
,
unfortunately
Add the comma(s)
,unfortunately
show examples
 if they just learned something boring and
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 a math class after it. It will be a disaster for them. And not all of the
parents
Use synonyms
 really know how to teach
children
Use synonyms
 the
science
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 and how to prepare it well in their home. The result is
children
Use synonyms
 is not recommended to take just only important
subjects
Use synonyms
.
science
Use synonyms
 of
food
Use synonyms
 and the way prepare it is being on the must teach wishlist by some
parents
Use synonyms
 in schools.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, teaching just only
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 subject to
children
Use synonyms
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 in demand by some
parents
Use synonyms
. Being healthy since younger is
a good knowledge
Remove the article
good knowledge
a piece of good knowledge
show examples
, while
let
Change the form of the verb
letting
show examples
 the kids learn crucial subject will overheat their brain and make them not in the mood.
For instance
Linking Words
,
food
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
 is really critical nowadays since junk
food
Use synonyms
 are
easily
Replace the word
easy
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
access
Wrong verb form
accessed
show examples
 by kids. So they will prefer craving some green and fibrous
food
Use synonyms
Linking Words
instead
Add the preposition
ofinstead
show examples
 fatty and savoury meal. To prevent any kinds of
food
Use synonyms
 that cause disease.
Submitted by mghazya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: