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Band 5.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
In
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 era, governments around the world play a vital role in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 development of human societies. They can choose to invest
public
Change preposition
in public
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 finance in building either public
infrastructure
 or
entertainment
Correct article usage
the entertainment
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 industry. I believe that government must allocate
money
 to construct
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
 public services rather than expending
money
 to promote art and music. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the primary duty of government and the significance of investing public
money
 to prepare public overheads.
First
, the primary role of authorities
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 improve the
welfare
 of
people
.
For example
, a study found that the countries which allocate
money
 to increase
welfare
Add an article
the welfare
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 of
people
 can achieve the goals of access to health services, education, and security for everyone. Ensuring individuals’ reach to these basic services strengthen
social
Correct article usage
the social
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, economic, and political bases of societies. Building these foundations strong will guarantee the greater and better
welfare
 of several generations to come. Another responsibility of ruling agencies is to build overheads like roads, bridges, railways, and cities. Researchers have highlighted that
expending
Correct your spelling
expanding
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money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
such
infrastructure
 encourages trade and development of private sectors across
nation
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the nation
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.
Furthermore
, the easy access to roads and railways reduces the cost of travel and transaction which provide
incentive
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an incentive
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 for
people
 to expand their businesses to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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places far away from their home.
Furthermore
, the expense
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 public
infrastructure
 brings numerous benefits to both
people
 and government. To conclude, governments that build their public
infrastructure
 and strong public
welfare
 system prepare the
fundamental
Fix the agreement mistake
fundamentals
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 of prosperous societies.
Therefore
, I strongly recommend governments to allocate
budget
Correct article usage
a budget
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 for public development rather than for the enrichment of arts and amusement.
Submitted by dilliupt on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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