IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others, however, believe that these problems cannot be solved if individuals do not take action. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #action
With climate change getting worse in human’s life, environmental issues seem to be more significant for us. Some
people
 consider it as
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
essential work to solve for each person, while
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
people
 consider that
people
 themselves do not have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to cope with it. From my perspective, both views
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 their own reasons.
Besides
, there are
also
 some certain tight connections between them. On the one hand, I
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
 the
viewpoint
Replace the word
view
show examples
 that it is necessary that individuals should take measures to tackle part of environmental problems in daily life, which means
people
 have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
 to do all they can do protecting surroundings. Sorting rubbish, reducing the use of plastic bags, and saving water as well as electricity,
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 around us like these are worth being noticed.
Besides
, low-carbon travelling, like walk, bicycle, or bus,
instead
 of choosing
private
Add an article
a private
show examples
 car, it would be efficient to reduce the emission of carbon dioxide.
Points
Correct article usage
The points
show examples
 mentioned above might be easy for us to change.
However
,
each
Correct pronoun usage
what each
show examples
 individual person can do is limited, and it would be more useful if they combine with the government. One of the advantages with regard to
this
 is that the government have the capacity
leading
Change the verb form
to lead
show examples
 the public, they have an effect on not only declaring a certain policy but
also
 guiding a correct direction to residents.
Thus
, with governments joining, protecting
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 will be of more ease and
efficiency
Replace the word
efficient
show examples
. Overall, it seems to me that as long as individuals spare no efforts to protect the environment around them, communities try their best to guide as well as supervise citizens’
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, governments do their utmost to improve environmental policies, it could be the most effective solution to solve environmental problems.
Submitted by 798229206 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: