Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services

Certain people

says

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say

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that the

government

should allocate funds for entertainment rather than spending on public transports . I partially agree with the above statement

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will hereby explain my point of view On the one hand , arts like music and cinemas are important to overcome the day to day stress. Most of all the entertainments are based on

team work

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teamwork

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, it will directly affect the future of the people who work if it’s not recognised by

government

Add an article

the government

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For

instance

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,instance

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most of the individuals are working day and night to

fulfill

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fulfil

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there

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their

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responsibilities , listening

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to musics

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musics

Change the wording

music

kinds of music

pieces of music

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and cinemas are the only escapism for

the

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short period of time.

Also

if the

government

is not supporting the art financially it will lead most of the

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

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unemployment

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unemployed

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status

On the other hand

, Governments should improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

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public transports as it should be easily available for all the

taxpayer

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taxpayers

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. For example in India public transports like train , bus and even roads are not friendly for handicaps, they pay tax but they don’t get there minimal consideration

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my conclusion

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

should spend money in both the field and they should allocate them

accordingly

Submitted by Sin on Thu Jan 06 2022

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

197 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
expression of creativity
promote diversity
enhance social cohesion
boost tourism
job creation
stimulate economic growth
improve quality of life
essential services
maintenance and development

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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people asser that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Do children behave better when they are physically punished or rewarded?

Nowadays, distance-learning have gained in popularity, but some people argue that courses can never be as good as those taken by attending a college or university in person.To what extent do you agree or disagree

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreighn language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?