IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
It is often argued that
people
 should
dress
 business-like at
work
, while others believe that the
way
 employees
dress
 does not have any influence on the job they have to do. In my opinion, I believe that
although
 the quality of the
work
 must always come
first
 ,
appearance
 is important as
appearance
 gives the
first
 impression of your professional competence. A growing body of research suggests that
people
 are used to
play
Change the verb form
playing
show examples
 roles in their
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
, and like at the theatre we need different costumes to match our roles. A uniform for schools, a
dress
 for a date, official clothes for
work
. There is an opinion that
appearance
 sets the behaviour. All of us have ever noticed that
people
’s perception of us
determinate
Add a missing verb
is determinate
show examples
 by the
way
 we
dress
.
People
 expect us to act according to our
look
Fix the agreement mistake
looks
show examples
. The
first
 impression is always based on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
appearance
, which can help to build trustworthy relationships between worker and client right away if you
dress
 smartly.
For example
, when you go to the bank most likely the gentleman in a three-piece suit will attract your attention as a professional.
However
, it is quite a controversial issue,
as
Replace the word
like
show examples
 the
way
 you look has nothing
common
Change preposition
in common
show examples
 with your professionalism. As long as the person is capable to provide high-quality
work
 the
way
 he
look
Change the verb form
looks
show examples
 does not important at all.
For instance
,
manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturing
show examples
 workers do not
need
Add the particle
toneed
show examples
 look smart. In conclusion, while
appearance
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a significant influence on our perception in other’s
people
 eyes, it can be noted that not everywhere it is occurred to be important. In my opinion,
business-like
Correct article usage
a business-like
show examples
 look is mostly beneficial for client-oriented jobs.
Submitted by di0404babayants on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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