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Band 5

Establishing good relationships in the workplace is not important, as the primary goal of every person is to focus on work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#relationships #workplace #person #focus #work
It is a widely-held belief that the most significant aim for each employee at
work
 is to concentrate on their tasks and making good relationships are not important. I disagree
to
Change preposition
with
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this
 notion based on some grounds which will be explained in
this
 essay.
Firstly
,
existence
Add an article
the existence
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 of warm relationships between colleagues is necessary to have a positive atmosphere in a workplace.
This
 may lead to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more effective collaborative
work
 due to the interest and tendency to respect each other. Examples can be seen in the outcome of diverse business projects that the workforce have worked collaboratively compared with those which not.
Moreover
, those who have great relationships with their co-workers have more
job
 satisfaction rather
Correct your spelling
than
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that
Correct your spelling
than
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 their solitary peers; and it is proven that
Job
 satisfaction brings about the
employees
to
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apply
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be happier in their personal lives.
Thus
, those who are on good terms with their colleagues are
subsequently
 more contented and cheerful in their lives. Admittedly, it is essential for the workforce to focus on their duties at
work
 to properly achieve their goals. Some people surmise that making friends at
work
 may prohibit workers
to
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from
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 fully
concentrate
Wrong verb form
concentrating
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 on their jobs.
However
, it is indispensable to be content at the workplace as full-time
employees
 spend most of their daily time at
work
.
This
 Contentment would be achieved provided that
employees
 formed good social bonds with their workmates. To conclude, it seems that there are compelling reasons to get close to other
employees
 in the workplace as it may lead to a better business outcome subsequent to
a
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apply
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better teamwork,
job
 satisfaction, and happier life.
Nevertheless
, it may sometimes interfere with
the
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concentration on the
job
 tasks.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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