IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the changes in the proportion of energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003.

The charts below show the changes in the proportion of energy produced from different resources in a country in 1985 and 2003.
#show #changes #proportion #energy #resources #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The pie charts compare the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 which is produced from different types of
resources
Use synonyms
 in a country in 1985 and 2003. The initial impression is that oil had the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 among other
resources
Use synonyms
 both in 1985 and 2003, and hydro had the least
percentage
Use synonyms
 in that in
aforementioned
Correct article usage
the aforementioned
show examples
 years. As can be seen,
oil
Correct article usage
the oil
show examples
 proportion in
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 is 52% and 39% in 1985 and 2003 , respectively .The proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 produced by natural gas increased from 13% in 1985 to 23% in 2003.
This
Linking Words
 increasing trend happened for coal too and the proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 by coal was around triple in 2003 compared to 1985 and it reached from 8 % in 1985 to 22% in 2003.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 that was produced by nuclear
resources
Use synonyms
 had a significant reduction from 22% in 1985 to 8% in 2003.
Energy
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 from hydro
resources
Use synonyms
 remained unchanged at the level of 4% in both years.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, energy, resources, production with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: