IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Nowadays in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #women #time #jobs #household #tasks #men
In
this
 modern era,it has been observed from various nations that
female
Correct article usage
the female
show examples
 section of the society are fully engaged
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their work.
Thus
, it is the duty of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 to look after the household activities.I completely agree with
this
 notion because
both
 these genders are over occupied
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their jobs as well as it reflects their healthy relationship.I would like to explicate
this
 in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
both
 the genders are equally busy with their duties,various surveys shows that,they are proportionately contributing their hours in the home tasks despite having hectic schedule they are managing daily duties with the support of each other.
For instance
,if the male member,working hours are commencing from afternoon onwards
then
 he’s preparing the breakfast and lunch is managed by him at the workplace.
In addition
 to it,to express your affection towards others.It is essential to divide the challenges.
furthermore
,it will not only reflect the strong relationship
instead
 various issues like stress can be tackled.
For example
, when
both
 the partners are contributing in the same manner.
Thus
,it reduces the burden on a particular person shoulder.
At
Change the preposition
In
show examples
 the end,their relationship becomes healthy. To recapitulate,I strongly assert that it is the responsibility of
both
 men and the women to eventually complete household tasks,as it would lead to their time savage,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
,hand
show examples
 problems related to the stress can be solved and it is essential for smooth running of relation
Submitted by amanasati77 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: