IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

#countries #schools #aim #education #range #subjects #children #focus #career #today’s #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Schools provide curriculum-based and subject wise
education
Use synonyms
 in some provinces according to the system of the country. While others say,youth focus on a specific
range
Use synonyms
 of subjects that are career-based.
However
Linking Words
,I believe
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of a wider
range
Use synonyms
 of subjects is necessary these days in choosing
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right professional course. The provincial government provide literacy for free in some countries because of the multicultural diversity.
Firstly
Linking Words
,providing a
range
Use synonyms
 of resources for the students to encourage study systems in urban and rural areas.
Such
Linking Words
 as,in some ,cities
federal
Correct article usage
the federal
show examples
 government is organising
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free
education
Use synonyms
programs
Use synonyms
 for grades kindergarten to 12.
Moreover
Linking Words
,motivating
children
Use synonyms
 on
knowledge
Use synonyms
-based literacy
programs
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,To avoid illiteracy among young
children
Use synonyms
 general
education
Use synonyms
 provides a wide
range
Use synonyms
 of curriculum learning
programs
Use synonyms
 to ensure that every child matters in
education
Use synonyms
. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,higher officials have chosen voluntaries to spread
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 word of
education
Use synonyms
 for all ages.
However
Linking Words
,It was successful in some rural areas.
Finally
Linking Words
,subject-wise
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is a crucial part for every youth because it helps to get a job in near future.
For instance
Linking Words
,job oriented training
programs
Use synonyms
 are offered by the ministry of
education
Use synonyms
,extra hours of volunteering helps youngsters to get both theoretical and practical
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of a subject.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 gives options for students in choosing a subject as a professional career. From other perspectives,some
children
Use synonyms
 are focusing on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
specific
careers
Correct the article-noun agreement
career
show examples
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 interesting in as a child and choosing as professional development.
Such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Arts,music and dance,learning piano are other skills apart from
education
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 can help in choosing as a child-initiated and choice of developing as a career path.Parents and caregivers need to give guidance to their
children
Use synonyms
 and educate them in the right direction. To conclude,I believe
children
Use synonyms
 need to know a wider
range
Use synonyms
 of subjects,apart from the
second
Linking Words
 course because
knowledge
Use synonyms
 of general discipline gains confidence and positive behaviour.
Submitted by ar050682 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: