In many countries, old or traditional languages are dying out or being forgotten, especially by younger people. Is this an acceptable development which occurs inevitably, or is it something which we should try to prevent?

The usage of old
language
is declining over time, especially in youngsters, and it has been suggested for some time. For numerous reasons,
this
is probably unavoidable;
however
, the
situation
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the situation

The noun phrase situation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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can be improved.
Firstly
, in an era of globalization, having multiple languages is a common phenomenon. Most people use a dominant
language
to communicate or to learn, which leads native
language
less practical. In some African countries
such
as Uganda, where each tribe has its own tongue, speaks English in their everyday life, school, and communal activities.
Furthermore
, loanword, which a word from other languages for new technologies and concepts that don't have traditional names
,
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apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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is one of the major reasons to tail-off the utilization of the mother tongue. In addition, some youths feel that the customary
language
is complicated.
For example
, in China, they have both traditional and simplified characters;
however
, the old one is elaborate to write, so the mass
prefer
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prefers

The plural verb prefer does not appear to agree with the singular subject the mass. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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simplified
instead
.
Nevertheless
, there are steps to prevent
this
problem. Perhaps the leading action would be schools teach traditional languages ​​from primary school
,
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apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

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and broaden child’s
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons

It seems that horizon may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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by promote cultural awareness. Take Mongolia as an example, students are required to take a Mongolian writing test in order to enter the university. Another practical solution is the
government
Correct article usage
The government

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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ought to legalize the usage of old
language
in public activities.
This
case
also
seen in Mongolia, from 2023, state-owned organizations will be allowed to work in the old script. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the mother tongue is being danger of extinction, due to evolution of
world
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the world

The noun phrase world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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, yet the issue can be solved by schools and the state.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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