In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

#people #hobby #trend

In the

last

years

Add a comma

,years

show examples

the budget

families

spend in retail markets has considerably increased around the world.

This

could be seen

as a result

that some people do not consider shopping as a domestic task anymore, in fact, it is seen as a

leisure

activity

This

essay completely agrees that

this

change in people’s perception is beneficial because it brings business opportunities as well as entertainment for the public. The

first

reason why I think that considering shopping a hobby is constructive is

because

Replace the word

that

show examples

it opens the possibilities to a huge number of

entrepreneurships

Correct your spelling

entrepreneurship

to develop their businesses in an uptrend market.

This

is to say, since presently shopping malls are more enjoyable places, the opportunities to take new products and services to these are higher than ever.

For example

, research carried out by

University

Correct article usage

the University

show examples

of Valley pointed out that during the

last

decade, the amount of new businesses opened in Colombia is twice bigger in comparison with the past decade and

that is

a consequence of the marketing campaigns aimed to change people’s perspective on shopping. Another reason why seeing shopping as a

leisure

activity

is a positive trend is because it brings entertainment to

families

In other words

due

Add the preposition

todue

show examples

the significant growth of shopping

malls

Add a comma

,malls

show examples

it could be considered as the perfect place to enjoy with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

loved ones. Indeed, based on a survey carried out by the Colombian Trading Agency, shopping is considered the

leisure

activity

preferred by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Colombian

families

. In conclusion, the fact that shopping is considered a

leisure

activity

instead

of a domestic task has got positive implications since not only new businesses can have a

participation

Replace the word

participate

show examples

in the market, but

also

families

can have an enjoyable place to share incredible moments.

Submitted by rossieltsacademy on Sun Jan 16 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumerism
retail therapy
materialism
disposable income
economic growth
financial instability
environmental impact
social interaction
community building
emotional satisfaction
advertising influence
shopping habits

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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the goverment is responsible for crime prevention. Others think that it is individuals responsibility to pretocet themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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