Some people say that schools should concentrate on teaching students academic subjects that will be useful for their future careers. Other people say that subjects such as music and sports are also necessary. Discuss both views and give your opinion

People tend to view that only academic
subjects
are a key factor in a future career.
However
, others believe that
students
also
should be provided
both
Add the preposition
with both
show examples
art and sports in order to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
greater physical and mental health.In
this
essay,I will discuss both views of
this
trend. On the one hand,academic
subjects
supporting beginners' future careers are extremely crucial.
To begin
with,they can build fundamental knowledge to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
diverse
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
and hardships of jobs.
Furthermore
,academic
subjects
can bring
students
close to the practical environment of the industry.
For example
,
accounting
Correct article usage
an accounting
show examples
major provides learners
various
Change preposition
with various
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
deep information which is helpful for
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
profession
Replace the word
professionals
show examples
.
On the other hand
,only focusing on academic material might make learners lose balance in their development.
For example
,some schools aim to build a diverse program with many non-academic
subjects
such
as sports and music.
Therefore
,
students
may lose
capability
Add an article
the capability
show examples
of playing instruments.
Besides
,with strong and healthy trainees,
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
can provide a productive
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
force for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In conclusion, having considered the points employed by both sides of the argument,I reckon that we should have a diverse program in order to educate
students
in a balanced way.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: