The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?

Media
violence effects are not large, but they accumulate over time to produce significant changes in
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
that can significantly influence both individuals and society. We will discuss the most serious problems, and
also
two ways in which the situation can be improved. Arguably the gravest problem
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
viewing (or playing) violent content is
children
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
will act aggressively.
Children
who are exposed to multiple risk factors including substance abuse, aggression, and conflict at home -- and
also
consume violent
media
are more likely to behave aggressively. A
further
serious impact is a risk factor for violent
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
This
fact that the child gets to act out the violence, rather than
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be a passive observer, as when viewing television or movies, is especially concerning. To counteract these dangers, perhaps the most effective and most solution would be for
parents
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
show examples
charge.
For example
,
Parents
should limit television to 1-2 hours daily and watch programs with their
children
, enabling them to address any objectionable material seen. Another remedy may be physicians should make
parents
and schools "
media
literate&quot
;.
Change the punctuation
;
.
show examples
This
meaning
Replace the word
means
show examples
they should understand the risks of exposure to violence and teach
children
how to interpret what they see on television. In doing so,
children
may be increasingly able to discern which
media
messages are suitable. In conclusion, in main problems are kids to be more
aggressively
Change the word
aggressive
show examples
and violent behavior. The key solution would be
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
parents
more control
their
Change preposition
over their
show examples
children
and
Change preposition
for
show examples
physicians should take some effective steps.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Desensitize
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Antisocial behavior
  • Bullying
  • Stress-related disorders
  • Media literacy
  • Critical evaluation
  • Age-appropriate media
  • Regulations
  • Public awareness campaigns
  • Responsible media consumption
What to do next:
Look at other essays: