Some people do not mind to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while some people prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Although
some people
believe work
-life
should be separate from personal life
; however
, others think that is
it crucial to spend leisure time
with family. Personally, I would prefer to spend my free time
with my family. In this
essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion.
There are several advantages to spending free time
with families, especially parents,
because our parents cannot live with us forever. Remove the comma
apply
While
we are free, we should spend as much time
as we can to accompany them, the same as they accompanied us when we were children. Furthermore
, professional life
is so stressful, 5 to 6 days a week, at least 8 hours a day at work
, and seeing the same people
talk about the same topic every day. Thus
, to away from a career, to enjoy some free time
with a loved one could refresh our mindset for the next day
Change noun form
day's
work
.
On the other hand
, spending time
with co-workers can make professional life
easier, such
as knowing a person
ability can ensure, they can handle the job task. Change noun form
person's
Also
, free time
is not only for fun, sometimes it can discuss work
while
they are having a beer in the pub. Moreover
, some foreigners are living alone and they have no other friends. Thus
, if they could have some leisure time
with their workmate it might help them with the loneliness.
In summary, some people
think is it important to spend time
with their families, especially is
elderly Unnecessary verb
apply
families member
; Fix the agreement mistake
family members
however
, other folks say they do not mind spending free time
with workmates as they can know other people
well it will be good for the work
task. In my opinion, I prefer to separate work
life
and private life
, because I spend most of the
Change the word
my
time
at work
. If I could have free time
my family will
come first.Wrong verb form
would
Submitted by junechan822 on
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task response
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the given topic. Develop each main point with detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, use linking words and transitional phrases to connect your ideas more effectively. Additionally, ensure that the logical order of your points is clear and that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.