Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
The Olympic
games
are held every four years where
Correct word choice
and
people
around the world are able to participate. Nevertheless
, some people
might argue that these events are of no importance and the money
invested in hosting these activities could be used for other alarming issues. In my opinion, the Olympic games
are quite expensive to prepare for but are beneficial for the country
organising them.
The main reason for holding the Olympic tournaments is to attract visitors and players from all around the world. This
benefits the country
because its financial status will increase. For instance
, the government makes more profits while
selling tickets for the
tournaments worldwide. Correct article usage
apply
This
will be boosting up the economical
status of the Replace the word
economic
country
on a larger scale compared to the amount of money
that has been spent on the preparations.Hence
, the population will enjoy a high living standard.
Some people
, on the other hand
, believe that these events are very costly to afford. They prefer to use their money
effectively and efficiently. For example
, in under-developing countries where people
have to struggle for a living might find it irresponsible if the government invest in these games
rather than providing them with a better quality of life. More concerning issues such
as poverty or malnutrition could have been alleviated if the money
is
injected into the economy and Wrong verb form
had been
helping
out the poor.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
helped
Correct article usage
the Olympics
Olympics
Correct your spelling
Olympic
games
do benefit a country
that has the means of hosting them. I believed
that Wrong verb form
believe
this
has a positive impact on the tourism industry. However
, the government should not solely rely on these events to maintain a good living standard.Submitted by vani950313 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument regarding the importance of the Olympic games, however, more depth and analysis could be included to fully explore the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear structure to the essay. To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to enhance the flow of ideas.