Nowadays many people believe that children should be taught history in schools, however, others argue that children should learn subjects that are more helpful for modern everyday life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #history #schools #subjects #life

Today, some

people

argue schools should give

history

knowledge for

children

however

, others believe

children

should learn

Add an article

the more

a more

show examples

useful subject in

mordern

Correct your spelling

modern

life

. Personally, I agree teachers should provide crucial

subjetc

Correct your spelling

subject

that could help

children

with

mordern

Correct your spelling

modern

life

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain both views and give my opinion.

To begin

with, in a

mordern

Correct your spelling

modern

country is it important to let

children

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

learn useful subjects for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

future

life

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because technologies can lead

Change preposition

to a

show examples

country economy, and develop more

proffessional

Correct your spelling

professional

For example

, IT

company

Fix the agreement mistake

companies

show examples

such

as computer software, can make

people

life

easy,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

use

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

paper works, and save labour

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

Therefore

, I believe

Add an article

a student

the student

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

should

studies

Change the verb form

study

show examples

useful subjects

instead

of historical

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because knowing histories cannot ensure

people

have a bright future. Certainly, is it good ideas to let young generations to understand accent cultures and countries

blackground

Correct your spelling

background

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because we

needs

Change the verb form

need

show examples

to ensure young

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

can remember the

history

heroic,

such

as who was the person to invented energy

Change the punctuation

show examples

For instance

, in Australia one of the

regulation

Change to a plural noun

regulations

show examples

Correct your spelling

immigration

immigartion

Correct article usage

the immigartion

show examples

website

Fix the agreement mistake

websites

show examples

is who want to apply for

a residences

Correct the article-noun agreement

residences

a residence

show examples

, they should know Australia

history

and

past

Correct your spelling

pass

show examples

the

history

test.

Thus

, is it crucial to ensure Australian

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

understand the

history

before

immigants

Correct your spelling

immigrants

pople

Correct your spelling

people

, the easy way is to study at school. In summary, some

people

believe

learing

Correct your spelling

learning

histories at school is an

essencial

Correct your spelling

essential

subject, but other folks disagree, they think

children

should concentrate to study

main

Change the article

the main

show examples

subject which is related

with

Change preposition

show examples

mordern

Correct your spelling

modern

life

. In my opinion, I strongly believe schools should give knowledge of

mordern

Correct your spelling

modern

subjects to ensure young

genaration

Correct your spelling

generation

to have a bright future which

this

can help the economy.

Submitted by junechan822 on Sun Jan 23 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many people believe that children should be taught history in schools, however, others argue that children should learn subjects that are more helpful for modern everyday life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many old buildings are protected by laws because they are part of a nation's history. However, some people think they should be knocked down to make way for new ones because people need houses and offices. How important is it to maintain old buildings? Should history stand in the way of progress?

Test 17: Governments should focus their spending on public services rather than on the art (e.g. Music and painting). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Public transport is essential but problematic. Describe some of problems connected to public transport and suggest some solutions.