In some Vinhomes areas, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops and at lower prices than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

I think
this
is a positive development.
This
change give Vinhomes
residents
more options in their daily shopping, they don't have to go far to buy their common grocery. In the modern fast pace way of life,
people
are normally tired when they are home from work. It is a relief for many
residents
to not have the
preasure
Correct your spelling
pleasure
pressure
of cooking and have
food
easily accessible in their residential area.
Furthermore
,
especialy
Correct your spelling
especially
in the current Covid-19 pandemic, not
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
to travel far for
food
is an excellent way to prevent exposure to the virus.
This
can
also
lead to the reduction of medical
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
for the healthcare system.
Next
is the matter of cost, lower price is always better for the consumer. Many
people
are affected financially by the pandemic,
people
lose jobs, incomes get
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
. Lower
food
price is a great way to support them overcoming
this
horrible pandemic.
Moreover
, lower price increases demand
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
goods,
people
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
more will stimulate the economy and help small independent sellers.
On the other hand
, in the perspective of a healthcare profession, having more processed
food
and sugary drinks more readily accessible can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
detrimental
Replace the word
detriment
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health for
residents
. But I think the
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
far
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
the cost and
this
development is the right direction to move forward. Having more convenience shops and lower prices for
food
and grocery can help improve the quality of life for Vinhomes
residents
greatly.
Submitted by nhudinhngocanh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: