IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some Vinhomes areas, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops and at lower prices than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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I think
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development.
This
Linking Words
 change give Vinhomes
residents
Use synonyms
 more options in their daily shopping, they don't have to go far to buy their common grocery. In the modern fast pace way of life,
people
Use synonyms
 are normally tired when they are home from work. It is a relief for many
residents
Use synonyms
 to not have the
preasure
Correct your spelling
pleasure
pressure
 of cooking and have
food
Use synonyms
 easily accessible in their residential area.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
especialy
Correct your spelling
especially
 in the current Covid-19 pandemic, not
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 to travel far for
food
Use synonyms
 is an excellent way to prevent exposure to the virus.
This
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 lead to the reduction of medical
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 for the healthcare system.
Next
Linking Words
 is the matter of cost, lower price is always better for the consumer. Many
people
Use synonyms
 are affected financially by the pandemic,
people
Use synonyms
 lose jobs, incomes get
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
. Lower
food
Use synonyms
 price is a great way to support them overcoming
this
Linking Words
 horrible pandemic.
Moreover
Linking Words
, lower price increases demand
for
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
goods,
people
Use synonyms
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 more will stimulate the economy and help small independent sellers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in the perspective of a healthcare profession, having more processed
food
Use synonyms
 and sugary drinks more readily accessible can lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
detrimental
Replace the word
detriment
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health for
residents
Use synonyms
. But I think the
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 far
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the cost and
this
Linking Words
 development is the right direction to move forward. Having more convenience shops and lower prices for
food
Use synonyms
 and grocery can help improve the quality of life for Vinhomes
residents
Use synonyms
 greatly.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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