Young people often copy the behaviour of adults, so all employees of VinGroup should only be allowed to eat healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #copy #behaviour #adults #employees #vingroup #food #drink #habits

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In the past time, many

people

believe that young

people

always like imitate all the

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

of adults.

Consequently

, all employees of VinGroup don't be accepted to eat unhealthy

food

drink

and be limited to do best habits avoiding as smoking or drinking alcohol. In my opinion, I strongly agree that

almost

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

people

Correct quantifier usage

all people

show examples

need to eat healthy

food

drink

and behave gently. On the one hand, I assure

that

Correct pronoun usage

you that

show examples

eating unhealthy

food

drink

Wrong verb form

drinking

show examples

causes an unhealthy body.

For instance

food

containing more cholesterol is bringing to a lot of threatening diseases

such

as cardiovascular diseases, and some kind of

food

or alcoholic beverages may cause cancer diseases. In fact, we require to choose

food

that is

good for health like fish, fruits,

non- alcoholic

Correct your spelling

non-alcoholic

show examples

beverages,...

On the other hand

, I believe that we will become

a good men

Correct the article-noun agreement

a good man

good men

show examples

when we behave gently.

For example

, many

people

don't like the man that always takes the cigarettes in his mouth or uses a lot of alcohol.

Besides

, all

people

always love the man that likes to help everyone, on working or ordinary lifestyle.

Moreover

, avoiding unhealthy habits and doing exercise regularly will bring to us a wonderful life. All things considered, I strongly believe that young men usually imitate all

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

of senior

people

Then

, we need to give them only good chances to copy. That means when we consume healthy

food

drink

and do the best habits, they will do like that things.

As a result

, our life will have plenty of beautiful things.

Submitted by nhudinhngocanh on Mon Jan 24 2022

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Some people think that the best way to gather information is through newspapers while others believe in other better ways. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new Railways land for very fast trains between cities. Others believe that money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both the views.

Some people believe that hospitals should spend money on equipment. Others think it would be better to spend money hiring doctors and nurses. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries it is common for parents to give their children pocket money. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?