IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

#people #job #satisfaction #security
There are tremendously controversial perspectives heating a debate over ideal jobs. While some hold a strong view that content with a career is more vital than a stable
job
, others make the opposite statement. While vocation gratification is valid to some extent, I consider myself an advocate of long-term occupation. Without a doubt,
job
 contentment plays a paramount significant role in landing an ideal
job
. It is a vital contributor to increasing employees’ productivity and enhancing motivation while working. The working environment is reputed to be a determinant of securing a vocation, due to the fact that surrounding factors support personal growth.
For instance
, Google which is
one
 of the most prestigious companies applies top-notch facilities to workers, including providing a modern laptop for each or having relaxing rooms and gaming areas. That means employees can concentrate on their mission,
then
 dedicate themselves to their company.
Therefore
, gratifying with a profession is of the essence when seeking a career. Whilst the redeeming features of
job
 pleasure are acknowledged, it is unfair if those of a long-term line of career are ignored. Devoting to
one
job
 with high seniority gives a stable and permanent income which disburdens overwhelmed financial pressure. There are an array of bills that have to expend, taking tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
, fixed
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 including rental
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
 as examples.
Hence
, getting a salary stably addresses all the mentioned problems.
For example
, Japanese workers’ salary is received depend on high seniority.
In other words
, the more years employees work, the higher salaries are paid so it leads to better lives for workers sticking with
one
job
. In my view, permanent profession outweighs occupation contentment owing to the financial benefit that pleased with a
job
 may not hold. In conclusion,
this
 essay acknowledges that while each has redeeming features, I reckon that securing a stable occupation is far better than a complacent
one
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: