IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Because many children are not able to learn foreign languages, schools should not force them to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #languages #schools #force
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These days
schools
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 are trying to teach
students
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 various courses or studies
along with
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 conventional education. Criticism
rise
Correct subject-verb agreement
rises
show examples
 against
schools
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, that they are compelling
children
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 to learn foreign languages because many
children
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 are unable to learn
this
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 skill. I agree with
this
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 notion and will discuss it
further
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 in
this
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 essay. One of the major reasons to oppose those
schools
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 that force
children
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 to learn foreign languages is
due to
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 the fact that it is an additional burden on them. It is likely that learning something in their own
language
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 feels far more feasible and not time-consuming,
whereas
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 adapting to a new
language
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 skill needs time and more determination. Currently, a modern school has numerous activities for
students
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,
such
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 as academic and non-academic, and needless to
day
Correct your spelling
say
show examples
children
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 would feel the burden of
this
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.
Additionally
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,
due to
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 the fact that it needs more willpower and time. Some
children
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 are simply not interested in
this
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language
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, to acquire a
language
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 skill, student needs to put in extra effort and stay active so that they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 learn effectively. In most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
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, If teachers are
also
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 not
much
Rephrase
very
show examples
knowledgable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
show examples
 or native of that
language
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then
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this
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 would
also
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 result in inappropriate teaching.
On the contrary
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, the world is changing these days and becoming a global village. Learning languages can be a benefit for
students
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 who want to work or want to study in foreign nations. It will be progressive for the individual's profession.
For instance
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, Quebec is a province in Canada where French is considered the first
language
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.
Students
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 or professionals working there have an edge if they are competent in the
french
Capitalize word
French
show examples
language
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.
To Conclude
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, learning a
language
Use synonyms
 can have slight benefits but
schools
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 should not force the student to acquire foreign
language
Use synonyms
 skills.
Submitted by rahulgillpro on

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task response
Make sure to address all parts of the essay prompt and consider both sides of the argument. Provide clear and relevant examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay follows a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, ensure that your ideas are well-connected and the essay flows logically from one point to the next.
lexical resource
Your use of vocabulary is good, but try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely. Also, be cautious about using repetitive phrases or words.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a good grasp of grammar and sentence structure, but there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and errors. Try to vary your sentence structure and proofread carefully for mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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