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Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Some individuals think that it is best to accept a dissatisfactory
job
 or shortage of salary , others think that it is better to improve and
change
this
situationsituations
Correct your spelling
situation situations
. In my opinion, I
onagree
Correct your spelling
agree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
second
 statement but with some compromise by following reasons.
Firstly
, many
people
 think that
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 an unsatisfactory
job
 or less money is the best option. delaying satisfaction may lead to long term happiness.
For example
, I am a Chinese that works at
Japanese
Correct article usage
a Japanese
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university
 as a research assistant. The disadvantage of
this
job
 is the working environment is very busy at the
work days
Correct your spelling
workdays
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. When examination season comes, it would be extremely busy and
exhausted
Replace the word
exhausting
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.
On the other hand
, the advantage of
this
job
have
Add a missing verb
is have
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good
Add an article
a good
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 salary and the
university
 offers employees many vacations.
Furthermore
, I want to
working
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 at
university
 as a tutor in the future,
thus
this
job
 could support me with my career.
Secondly
,
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 the bad situations could be a challenge but may give
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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good results and benefit more than present.
For instance
, While I working at
university
Correct article usage
the university
show examples
, the headquarters of
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 used to reduce the
economic
Replace the word
economy
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 that trying to cut employee pay. Many employees had against the regulation and did a movement
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 was rarely
seeing
Change the form of the verb
seen
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 in Japan. They wrote a letter to argue with the headquarters of
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 and
finally
 they succeed, and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
headquarters of
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 didn’t perform on cut pay anymore. In my opinion, I think every
job
 has the dissatisfactory part, but sometimes the advantage it would be lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
longterm
Correct your spelling
long-term
show examples
 happiness if
people
 can balance the shortage.
On the other hand
,
people
 should make some
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
 to improve the situations when the dissatisfactory already offend the benefits. Even it might be
Add an article
a challenge
show examples
challenge
Change the form of the verb
challenging
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,
But
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
still
Add a missing verb
is still
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 worth on to do it. In conclusion, I agree
people
 should improve and
change
 bad situations when things already offend
theirs
Correct the word
their
show examples
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
.
Submitted by littlekongmy on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
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