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Band 5

Some people think that charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own country. But others believe that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #charity #organizations #offer #country #aid
Individuals are divided in their opinion regarding
that if
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
 non-profit organizations should provide aid to folks of their own nation or in every country around the
world
. I personally believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they should help people from all the countries of the
world
, especially the undeveloped ones. Never before have we seen so many charity institutions around the
world
 and all of them play a pivotal role in many aspects like poverty and human rights.
This
 happens mainly because they act in developing countries. If no interventions are taken in those nations,
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 more human beings would die every day. A clear illustration of
this
 could be said to be that, recent research
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
carried out by two prominent professors in Greece has shown that, Unicef save approximately 2 million lives from hunger every year. So I am convinced that these actions are conducive to
mitigate
Wrong verb form
mitigating
show examples
this
 tendency and I advocate them.
On the other hand
, there are others who tend to have a much more conservative approach in
this
dillema
Correct your spelling
dilemma
. These people argue that charity organizations should focus only on helping the poorest citizens of their own country. I am sure that
this
 belief
exist
Change the verb form
exists
show examples
 only because these people are either from poor families or are extremist nationalists.
For example
, in my country Greece there is an organization
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 only help citizens
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Greek nationality and not refugees ( who in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most cases are much poorer). To sum up, these
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
 support the view that, it is urgent that action must be taken in order to stamp out these prejudices and start to help each other regardless the nationality.
This
 will
be make
Change the verb form
be making
show examples
 our
world
 more equal and a better place for living
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the younger generation.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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