TRAFFIC AND ACCOMMODATION PROBLEMS ARE INCREASING, AND THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD ENCOURAGE BUSINESS TO MOVE FROM CITIES TO RURAL AREAS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGE

#traffic #accommodation #government #business #move #cities #areas

The government ought to motivate

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

to be moved from urban

areas

to rural regions.

This

is needed to meet the increasing problems of traffic and accommodation in cities. It will

increase

employment opportunities and other facilities for villagers. It,

however

, will cause

pollution

and loss of natural beauty of

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

. In my opinion, its detrimental effects take precedence over its benefits.

Increasing

Add an article

An increasing

The increasing

show examples

number of businesses in rural regions will result in rising employment chances for the native people because corporations will need to recruit workers to run their businesses.

This

will eliminate unemployment in the long run.

Secondly

this

will provide a variety of facilities to the villagers,

such

as recreational activities, residential societies, better educational institutions and good hospitals.

Thus

, new companies will not only

increase

jobs but

also

provide enormous amenities to the inhabitants of rural

areas

On the other hand

this

innovative approach has significant drawbacks. All kinds of

pollution

for example

, water, land, air and noise

pollution

, in the countryside will have

harmful

Add an article

a harmful

show examples

impact on the lives of all living beings. It will have adverse effects on humans as well as on animals and plants.

Moreover

, carbon emissions will

also

increase

which involves

Change preposition

apply

show examples

global warming and rising temperature problems. Simultaneously, huge business projects will clear land by deforestation to build offices, houses or other buildings.

This

will deprive rural

areas

of the natural scenery. In conclusion,

although

arrival

Add an article

the arrival

show examples

of more businesses in rural

areas

will enhance

availability

Add an article

the availability

show examples

of jobs and facilities for the locals,

pollution

will

increase

in villages and

natural

Correct article usage

the natural

show examples

landscape will be lost.

Therefore

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

merits are overshadowed by its demerits.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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TRAFFIC AND ACCOMMODATION PROBLEMS ARE INCREASING, AND THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD ENCOURAGE BUSINESS TO MOVE FROM CITIES TO RURAL AREAS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGE

More and more people now own cars. What are the problems associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? How can these problems be solved?

Topic: In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history oft h e house or building they live in.What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Many students find it is harder to study at university or college compared to when they were in grade school. Why is this? What are some possible solutions for this problem?

Some people say that now is the best time in histroy to be living. What is your opinion about this? What other time in history would be interesting to live in?

Nowadays, many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children？