TRAFFIC AND ACCOMMODATION PROBLEMS ARE INCREASING, AND THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD ENCOURAGE BUSINESS TO MOVE FROM CITIES TO RURAL AREAS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGE

#traffic #accommodation #government #business #move #cities #areas

The government ought to motivate

business

Fix the agreement mistake

businesses

show examples

to be moved from urban

areas

to rural regions.

This

is needed to meet the increasing problems of traffic and accommodation in cities. It will

increase

employment opportunities and other facilities for villagers. It,

however

, will cause

pollution

and loss of natural beauty of

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

. In my opinion, its detrimental effects take precedence over its benefits.

Increasing

Add an article

An increasing

The increasing

show examples

number of businesses in rural regions will result in rising employment chances for the native people because corporations will need to recruit workers to run their businesses.

This

will eliminate unemployment in the long run.

Secondly

this

will provide a variety of facilities to the villagers,

such

as recreational activities, residential societies, better educational institutions and good hospitals.

Thus

, new companies will not only

increase

jobs but

also

provide enormous amenities to the inhabitants of rural

areas

On the other hand

this

innovative approach has significant drawbacks. All kinds of

pollution

for example

, water, land, air and noise

pollution

, in the countryside will have

harmful

Add an article

a harmful

show examples

impact on the lives of all living beings. It will have adverse effects on humans as well as on animals and plants.

Moreover

, carbon emissions will

also

increase

which involves

Change preposition

apply

show examples

global warming and rising temperature problems. Simultaneously, huge business projects will clear land by deforestation to build offices, houses or other buildings.

This

will deprive rural

areas

of the natural scenery. In conclusion,

although

arrival

Add an article

the arrival

show examples

of more businesses in rural

areas

will enhance

availability

Add an article

the availability

show examples

of jobs and facilities for the locals,

pollution

will

increase

in villages and

natural

Correct article usage

the natural

show examples

landscape will be lost.

Therefore

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

merits are overshadowed by its demerits.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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TRAFFIC AND ACCOMMODATION PROBLEMS ARE INCREASING, AND THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD ENCOURAGE BUSINESS TO MOVE FROM CITIES TO RURAL AREAS. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGE

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

over population of urban areas has lead to numerous problems. identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that government and individuals tackle these problems.

In today’s world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantage of owing a smartphone outweigh the disadvantage?

The government is spending a lot of money to discover life on alien planets. Some people think that the government is wasting money and should spend money addressing the problems of the public. To what extent do you agree?

Due to the rapid development and expansion of supermarkets in some countries many small, local businesses are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local businesses will bring about the death of local communities.