A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction

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It is often argued that a huge income is more crucial than feeling fulfilled at the workplace.

This

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essay totally disagrees with that statement. I am of the opinion that feeling satisfied with your

job

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is necessary for your

career

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growth and development, as well as for reducing the risk of developing stress-related health problems.

First

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of all, pursuing a passion leads to success in the

career

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In other words

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, only when a person is happy and satisfied with his

work

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, he will be motivated to do an excellent

job

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and accomplish remarkable results.

As a result

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, he will gain

work

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experiences and achievements, which are required for his

career

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growth and success in his particular field.

For instance

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, my uncle is passionate about coding and inventing mobile applications. Due to his diligence and hard

work

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, his

career

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thrives, and he was even featured in Forbes 30 under 30 list.

Furthermore

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, having a high position

job

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with a huge paycheck doesn’t guarantee a happy, contented and

disease free

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disease-free

show examples

life.

In contrast

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, the higher the

job

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position is, the more stress a person will have to deal with,

thus

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increasing the risk of developing stress-related health diseases, both physical and psychological diseases,

such

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as obesity, diabetes, hypertension, stroke, depression, anxiety, and etc. According to a report commissioned by Australia, due to high levels of stress and

work

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pressure, senior executives have a 30% higher chance of developing early onset of stress-related disorders than those in

entry level

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entry-level

show examples

jobs.

Hence

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, having a high paid occupation is not worth it. To sum up, I strongly believe that having a

high income

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high-income

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occupation is inferior to a sense of accomplishment at

work

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, as

job

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satisfaction is necessary not only for better

job

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performance and

career

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success

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

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for living a happy and healthy life.

Submitted by ttz27 on Sun Jan 30 2022

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

remuneration
financial security
motivation
luxuries
material possessions
fulfillment
work-life balance
stress levels
mental well-being
job security

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A big salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

ILETS WRITING 2 - OPINION Essay Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centre or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

for schoolchildren , their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents . to what extent do you agree or disagree.