Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

In the current society, technology using become the most
importance
Replace the word
important
show examples
in each individual's life,
such
as social
media
,becoming increasingly popular among all
generation
Fix the agreement mistake
generations
show examples
.
however
, sharing personal information on social
media
websites
also
have risks. Overall, I intend to consider that the advantages of social
media
outweigh the disadvantages. Admittedly, Social
media
is one of the most important technology products that all
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
people
are using, especially among teenagers and
grown ups
Add a hyphen
grown-ups
show examples
.
For instance
, lot of apps,
such
as billboards,
people
can listen to music on the way to work or home for relaxing themselves, checking breaking news on the
first
second
from all over the world, publishing their own opinion or
their own arts product
Change to a genitive case
the product of their own art
show examples
for sharing with
people
on youtube or
instergram
Correct your spelling
Instagram
. Some of them even become popular through youtube or
instergrams
Correct your spelling
Instagram
,
benifiting
Correct your spelling
benefiting
both producers and viewers.
However
, there are
also
some risks among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
if
people
are over-exploded themselves on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
For example
, some hackers may use some
individual's
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals'
show examples
personal information to hack their bank account ,
consquently
Correct your spelling
consequently
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
will have
finical
Add an article
a finical
show examples
loss.
In addition
, if
people
shared some personal opinion but major viewers have different comments,they might risk internet bullying, hurting their family,
neverthless
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
, causing mental issues. To conclude,
though
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there will be some risks while sharing personal information on social
media
. the trend in the current society is social
media
.
people
shall take care which they want to share on some social
communcation
Correct your spelling
communication
tools and they have to be mentally ready
what
Change preposition
for what
show examples
to do if they have to face different voices from social
media
.
Submitted by fenping.shen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: