Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks

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In the current society, technology using become the most

importance

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important

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in each individual's life,

such

Linking Words

as social

media

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,becoming increasingly popular among all

generation

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generations

show examples

however

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, sharing personal information on social

media

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websites

also

Linking Words

have risks. Overall, I intend to consider that the advantages of social

media

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outweigh the disadvantages. Admittedly, Social

media

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is one of the most important technology products that all

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

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people

Use synonyms

are using, especially among teenagers and

grown ups

Add a hyphen

grown-ups

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, lot of apps,

such

Linking Words

as billboards,

people

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can listen to music on the way to work or home for relaxing themselves, checking breaking news on the

first

Linking Words

second

Linking Words

from all over the world, publishing their own opinion or

their own arts product

Change to a genitive case

the product of their own art

show examples

for sharing with

people

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on youtube or

instergram

Correct your spelling

Instagram

. Some of them even become popular through youtube or

instergrams

Correct your spelling

Instagram

benifiting

Correct your spelling

benefiting

both producers and viewers.

However

Linking Words

, there are

also

Linking Words

some risks among

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

Use synonyms

people

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are over-exploded themselves on

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, some hackers may use some

individual's

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals'

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personal information to hack their bank account ,

consquently

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consequently

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apply

show examples

will have

finical

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a finical

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loss.

In addition

Linking Words

, if

people

Use synonyms

shared some personal opinion but major viewers have different comments,they might risk internet bullying, hurting their family,

neverthless

Correct your spelling

nevertheless

, causing mental issues. To conclude,

though

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apply

show examples

there will be some risks while sharing personal information on social

media

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. the trend in the current society is social

media

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people

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shall take care which they want to share on some social

communcation

Correct your spelling

communication

tools and they have to be mentally ready

what

Change preposition

for what

show examples

to do if they have to face different voices from social

media

Use synonyms

Submitted by fenping.shen on Sun Jan 30 2022

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Social media platforms
Connectivity
Self-expression
Creativity
Global communication
Instantaneous communication
Personal growth
Career advancement
Privacy concerns
Identity theft
Cyberbullying
Addiction
Productivity
Misinformation
Crisis

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular among all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree?

In the future, all cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects at university. What are the reasons for this? What impact does this issue have on society?

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?