Most of the world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growth industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poor. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? And how can we ensure that tourism does not destroy traditional culture and ways of life?

#world’s #countries #tourism #growth #industry #benefit #income #culture #life

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Indonesia especially the Province of Bali has been developing the

tourism

industry based on high-value culture

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

several

decades long

Add a hyphen

decades-long

show examples

, and it is continuing as the main source of

income

for Balinese

people

Altough

Correct your spelling

Although

tourism

brings benefits for local

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

, in

fact

Add the comma(s)

,fact

show examples

that most of the

tourism

industry owners are not

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Balinese,

therefore

the local

people

will always

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apply

show examples

viewer

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viewers

show examples

in their

home land

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homeland

show examples

. Foreign investment has

influence

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influenced

show examples

the development of

tourism

Correct article usage

the tourism

show examples

sector in Bali particularly in the

accomodations

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accommodation

accommodations

facilities

such

hotel

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hotels

show examples

villa

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villas

show examples

restaurant

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restaurants

show examples

spa

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spas

show examples

, yoga and

other facility

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another facility

other facilities

show examples

. They have been providing the main

income

for local

people

Eventough

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Even though

the investors provide the working spaces, in the reality,

tourism

stakeholders hard to enhance their self-value because

doing

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of doing

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the non-managerial skills job.

Therefore

, their

income

is still low and only covered to daily

live

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life

show examples

. Interestingly, the company of foreign investment is always generating profit every period of

acconting

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accounting

bookkeeping, which

those profit

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that profit

those profits

show examples

will

distributed

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distribute

show examples

to the shareholders in

offshore

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an offshore

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country.

Dispite

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Despite

the great facility which has been provided by the investor, the most reason that tourists coming to Bali are to enjoy the high-value cultures, paramount panorama, and the beautiful

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

balinese

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Balinese

show examples

people

This

should have known by the

people

to utilize their rich

heritances

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inheritances

inheritance

in order to

generating

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generate

show examples

income

, other

then

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than

show examples

asking job from

toursm

Correct your spelling

tourism

corporations.

Therefore

this

will be the basis

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for

show examples

people

to stand

base

Wrong verb form

based

show examples

on their

owne

Correct your spelling

own

. According to

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

unmutual benefits conditions, all

tourism

players and the

goverment

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government

should seat together in order to find

the

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apply

show examples

great solutions for all. Open the

tourism

village based

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village-based

show examples

is on of the idea, the

people

get direct

income

from tourist that come directly to the village.

Other

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Another

show examples

value is through

online based

Add a hyphen

online-based

show examples

balines

Correct your spelling

basslines

barlines

can

utilze

Correct your spelling

utilize

the technology to build a relationship directly with tourist offshore

withhout

Correct your spelling

without

any broker foreign broker here. To conclude,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tourism

is the main

income

for

balineise

Correct your spelling

Balinese

people

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and must

be increase

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increase

show examples

the

income

by providing the direct actions for the

people

to generate

thier

Correct your spelling

their

income

, so that the live balance and culture will

be exist

Change the verb form

exist

show examples

Submitted by panderino12 on Tue Feb 01 2022

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

347 words

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Most of the world’s poor live in countries where tourism is a growth industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poor. How can the income generated by tourism benefit the poor? And how can we ensure that tourism does not destroy traditional culture and ways of life?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays, parents are allowing their children to use tablets and smartphones to enhance learning. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones. Is this a Positive or a negative development

You use public trasnport and have been facing issues. Write a letter to the public transport autoroties. In your letter include: why public transport is important to you what problem you face suggest what can be done to improve public transport

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of drierless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages.