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Band 4

Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #traditions #society #individuals
Culture
 and rituals change don'
t
 change with
generation
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the generation
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 they remain as it is but
now a days
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nowadays
show examples
 many
human
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humans
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 think new
think new
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
genration
Correct your spelling
generation
 should follow
culture
 whereas other that should be there own decision. In
following
Add an article
the following
show examples
 essay we will see both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of view and opinions, I will
also
 try to convey my opinion on
this
Firstly
,We should respect and follow our history and society, Our great
ancesisters
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ancestors
 fought for our nation other than that we should
definately
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definitely
 look up to our traditions and
morel
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moral
show examples
 values. Holy books like
bible
Correct article usage
the bible
show examples
,
geeta
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Geeta
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 or
qouran
Correct your spelling
Quran
 comes with important life lessons
eveything
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everything
writen
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written
 in these books is
ment
Correct your spelling
meant
 something for
world
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the world
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 but
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 many
yongsters
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youngsters
 so busy with
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 phone they don'
t
 have time for
tradtions
Correct your spelling
traditions
 and
culture
 even tough in countries like India which is
secular
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a secular
show examples
 nation where
diffrent
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different
 types of cast and
culture
exisits
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exists
, young
floks
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folks
 don'
t
 take
there
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their
show examples
culture
 seriously. for e.g. my nephew was so focused in his gaming he
don'
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doesn't
show examples
t
 care for any festivals and prayers.
on the other hand
, In 21st century where everyone is so busy with
there
Correct your spelling
their
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 life and choices
aof
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of
 people is changing day by day in
addtion
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addition
 to that
recents
Correct your spelling
recent
genrations
Correct your spelling
generations
 are more aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 there own values and sentiments, they clearly know what
tradtion
Correct your spelling
tradition
 is right for them, in many countries we can see kids
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 are vocal about there feeling they
don;
Change the punctuation
don't
show examples
t
 to depend on anyone
also
thry
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they
 want to choose there community by own because they don'
t
 want to live in
society
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a society
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 where everyone
pressure
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pressures
show examples
 them to
folow
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follow
 traditions for e.g if
muslim
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Muslim
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 girl
want
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wants
show examples
 to wear clothes by there own wish, she can
abslutely
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absolutely
 can. In my opinion, I think some
tradition
Replace the word
traditional
show examples
 values
makes
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make
show examples
 us better human being but there
shuould
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should
 be no restrictions and society should not force anyone to follow any pattern.
Submitted by kundnaniavi50 on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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