Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers. Do you agree or disagree?

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For years going outside
had
Wrong verb form
has
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been viewed as an inseparable part of having a job but people are taking a fresh look at it recently and working from home is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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feasible
due to
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the
technology
Replace the word
technological
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improvement. A great number of rationales are being discussed by experts in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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favor of remote working.
Although
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it is noteworthy to bear in mind that
this
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new
jobe
Correct your spelling
job
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style has brought us several benefits, I am not completely in agreement with it. I will discuss two reasons for
this
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disagreement in
this
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essay.
First,
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working environments are the most integral places that gather people and shape the community. Staying home might be preferable to going to an office but it suffers from the disadvantages that keep people away and destroy friendships.
For example
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, talking with our coworkers during our eight-hour shifts results in an inevitable friendship despite being so busy.
Moreover
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, it might promote loneliness and mental health issues deduce.
Consequently
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, we will have a depressed community.
Second,
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offices are being managed by strict obligations that not only help employees to be organised but
also
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protect the safety of their materials. Respecting confidentiality has been playing an increasingly important role in our careers that can be threatened by remote working.
For instance
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, there is a risk of information leakage by using personal computers and modems. Even if companies provide computers and other gadgets themselves, there is a huge chance of stealing the information at home.
To sum up
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,
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
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occupations are being extincted by improvements of twentieth-century . I believe that the disadvantages of
this
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modern style are much greater than its advantages. Isolating humans, increasing mental
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
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prevalence, and the risk of information loss
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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undeniable problems that can not be neglected.
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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph follows a clear progression of ideas. Start with a clear introduction, develop your points in the body paragraphs, and conclude with a summary of your main arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that you fully address the task prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear stance. Support your ideas with more specific examples and consider elaborating on each point in more detail to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
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