Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governmentsmust invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governmentsmust #services

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Governments around the WORLD provide many services to their

people

Use synonyms

. Education,

health-care

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health care

show examples

, and

entertainmentare

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entertainment are

entertainment

some examples.

However

Linking Words

, some

people

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believe that

authoritiez

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authorities

should prioritize their spending toward

publicservices

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public services

instead

Linking Words

of investing in the

arts

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. I thoroughly disagree with

this

Linking Words

notion due to the fact that

art

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benefits us

onindividual

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on individual

individual

and societal

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

. The

arts

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benefits

Change the verb form

benefit

show examples

people

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in many ways.

Firstly

Linking Words

, many individuals work in the

arts

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This

Linking Words

employment provides

themwith

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them with

decent sources of income, with which they can pay their bills and secure better

libing

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living

conditions for themselves.A

misician

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musician

for instance

Linking Words

, makes thousands of dollars per month from concerts and performances.

Moreover

Linking Words

art

Use synonyms

isone

Correct your spelling

is one

of the best means we HAVE to express our feelings -

therefore

Linking Words

, it helps with relieving a

lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

lot

show examples

of the stress

ofmodern

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of modern

life.

Also

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, some activists draw attention to local or global matters that concern them by painting,

performingplays

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performing plays

, or singing in order to raise public awareness.

Furthemore

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Furthermore

art

Use synonyms

serves noble functions for societies in terms of preserving culture and ensuring social security.

Mostof

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Most of

Most

traditions

Correct article usage

the traditions

show examples

we practice nowadays have been passed down from generation to generation through some forms of

art

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such

Linking Words

as poems, ritual ceremonies, painting, and sculptures. Some marriage ceremonies in Egyptian society,

forexample

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for example

, follow the same customs as those of the Pharaohs' era as depicted on some preserved monuments.

Additionally

Linking Words

art

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provides social security by reducing unemployment,

for instance

Linking Words

, thousands of employees have

jonsin

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jobs in

museums, galleries, and other

art

Use synonyms

venues.

This

Linking Words

result in significant drops in poverty and

crimes

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crime

show examples

rates-

consequently

Linking Words

, safe and secure communities exist. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

some

people

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oppose

govermental

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governmental

government

spending on the

arts

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, - as they consider it as a waste

ofrevenues

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of revenues

of revenue

Art

Use synonyms

benefits societies.

Submitted by icemarat6 on Sun Feb 06 2022

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governmentsmust invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

in some countries the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people soy thol industrial growth is necessory to solve poverty, but some other people orgue that industrial growth is causing environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion