IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment, is it a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
Majority
Correct article usage
the Majority
show examples
 of the highly emerged countries shopping is more of an impulsive
purchase
Use synonyms
 rather than
its
Change the word
a
show examples
 necessity. Considering
Use synonyms
purchase
Add an article
the purchase
a purchase
show examples
 of unnecessary goods along with the ease in buying
products
Use synonyms
, shopping as an entertainment purpose has
disadvantageous
Add an article
a disadvantageous
show examples
 impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society or individuals. Overall,
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
people
Use synonyms
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 unnecessarily
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping and wasting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
money.
Today
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
purchase
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 that are not essential for them. The change in
this
Linking Words
 trend of shopping is because
today
Use synonyms
's generation
earns
Correct your spelling
learns
show examples
 more than earlier
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, their disposable income is higher.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
today
Use synonyms
 there are most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
financial
Add an article
the financial
show examples
 schemes
such
Linking Words
 as EMI, credit card and so on which makes purchasing any product easily. On Analyzing, even though
people
Use synonyms
 have more income
today
Use synonyms
 and do more shopping there are situations where
people
Use synonyms
 buy
products
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are unnecessary. Due to
this
Linking Words
 impulsive
purchase
Use synonyms
 using credit facilities many individuals go under financial crisis.
For example
Linking Words
, in a recent survey, it was found that 80% of youngsters borrowed loans from banks to
purchase
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 that are beyond
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 capacity and became financial defaulters. In conclusion, shopping has become entertainment rather than necessary.
Hence
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 need to consider the many factors and spend the money to save the resources and money.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: