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Band 2.5

Companies should provide the sports as well as social facilities for local communities. In my opinion I completely agree that organizations have to come up with the sports as well as social facilities for local communities.

#companies #sports #facilities #communities #organizations
Owing to, the contemporary era of industrialization most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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multinational companies are developed in almost each and every country. Sports is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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necessary to maintain mental along with
physical
Add an article
the physical
a physical
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 balance of life. Due to hectic work
employees
 need to have
physical
Add an article
a physical
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 exercise for their body in daily routine.
As a result
, it is constructive for the organizations during long term basis for the organization growth as well as employee satisfaction.
For instance
, I have read an article one of the X company organized sports day during start of the
year
 because all
employees
 being tired of work performed at
year end
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year-end
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.
This
 platform
appreciated
Add a missing verb
is appreciated
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 by every employee as it provides relaxation from work
moreover
, it maintains physical fitness.
On the other hand
, social development is significant for
employees
 to maintain the culture as well as tradition.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of the organizations support employee values to keep up the values and traditions.
For example
, X company organizes
cultural
Correct article usage
a cultural
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 fest every
year
,
hence
employees
 participate in the events and perform the cultural dances. Being part of
this
last
year
 small Indian
employees
 performed Bartha Natyam all the families as well as
employees
 enjoyed
to
Correct your spelling
it
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 the most. To recapitulate, the game events and social gatherings are key benefits to the community, amplifying positive and healthy environments and leading to peace.
Submitted by sunnygorantla3 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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