Some people believe that parents should be responsible for encouraging their children to take regular exercise. Others argue that the main responsibility for encouraging children to do so should lie with schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #exercise #responsibility #schools

Nowadays, a regular

exercise

routine is greatly important for children to keep healthy and avoid a sedentary. Some people argue that have a major role in forming

this

helpful habit.

On the other hand

, others claim that

this

responsibility belongs to

schools

. In my opinion,

schools

take

Verb problem

play

show examples

a more crucial role than

parents

in encouraging children to take permanent

exercise

. First of all, physical

exercise

is one of the compulsory subjects from elementary to high school where pupils are obliged to learn it weekly at least.

As a result

, they have an opportunity to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

exercise

regularly.

Second,

schools

offer some fascinating factors for encouraging children to

eager

Add a missing verb

be eager

show examples

to do

exercise

which can not find at home. They can learn to play

sports

adequately and accurately under the guidance of physical

exercise

teachers.

Besides

schools

are often equipped the modern facilities so that pupils have multi-choice to play their favourite

sports

Moreover

, becoming a member of

sports

clubs or joining

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sports

competition

promote

Verb problem

encourages

show examples

them to practice

sports

permanently and persistently. It is reasonable to say that

parents

also

contribute

Verb problem

play

show examples

a major role in

promoting

Verb problem

encouraging

show examples

their kids to take regular

exercise

Rephrase

regularly.

show examples

All of the members of the family can play

sports

together like riding or jogging,...to form their

exercise

habit.

However

, it will be challenging for

parents

to keep continuously playing

sports

with their kids because they need to spare their time out of work.

Furthermore

, school regulations can make kids keep the discipline to maintain doing

exercise

Finally

, both

parents

and

schools

have a responsibility to build children’s

exercise

routines. But

schools

have more convenient factors than their family in supporting them

keep

Fix the infinitive

to keep

show examples

doing

exercise

permanently.

Submitted by mailien.cv on Fri Feb 11 2022

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

277 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that parents should be responsible for encouraging their children to take regular exercise. Others argue that the main responsibility for encouraging children to do so should lie with schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, parents who hit or otherwise punish children physically can be arrested and punished themselves. What is your opinion?

13.Today, some food travels thousands of miles from farms to consumers. Some people think that it would be better to our environment and economy if people only eat locally produced food. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Scientific research should be the responsibility of governments rather than commercial organizations. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

A 4 weeks' holidays can make employees do better at job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?