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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Summerise the information, selecting and reporting

#summerise #information
The bar chart describes information about the comparison of
teh
Correct your spelling
the
 maximum
population
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Asian
's elephants in seven nations in two
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
 ;periods 1997 and 2004. Overall, it is clear that India had the maximum
population
 of
Asian
mammals
 and Thailand and Malayasia, these both nation's elephant
population
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populations
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 had been decreased from the given past period. While Laos had maintained the same amount of the
mammals
Change to a genitive case
mammal's
mammals'
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population
. According to the graph illustrates, India had the most
populationn
Correct your spelling
population
populations
 of
Asian
's
elephant
Fix the agreement mistake
elephants
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, which is around 10,000 in 1997, but seven years later,
this
 figure for reduced gradually by 2500. Myanmar had the
second
-largest
population
 of
Asian
mammals
 about 5100 in 1997, but in 2004,
this
 was diminished by 300.
In contrast
,
Correct your spelling
Malaysia
Malayasia
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in Malayasia
show examples
 and Thailand, these both countries'
mammals
 have been reduced halfly to compared previous periods, which is from 2700 to 1350 and from 4000 to 2000 respectively.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 there was a slight decrease in Sri Lanka's elephant
population
 to
compared
Add an article
the compared
a compared
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previous
Correct article usage
the previous
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 period, which is 2700
an
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and
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 d2600 respectively.
Similarly
, Vietnam
also
 had reduced slightly from the
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past
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pat
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past
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 year. Surprisingly, Cambodia had increased slightly from the past year,
withan
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with an
within
 average of 1300 to 1400 respectively. Laos has
maintain
Change the verb form
maintained
show examples
 the same
population
, which is around 1200.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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