Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #percent #percentage #women

It is mostly considered that businesses in developing countries consider

men

better in positions that are

Replace the word

most

show examples

mostly

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

noticeably high compared to

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

.I completely agree that women should

also

be given a chance in positions that are highly noticeably

Firsly

Correct your spelling

Firstly

First

Change the capitalization

show examples

think that women can take any job that

men

do.It is generally known that it is a man's world but females nowadays go an extra mile with their tasks.

For instance

, construction was previously known to be

man's

Correct article usage

a man's

show examples

job but currently, almost all females can do the task

therefore

Change the capitalization

show examples

believe that ladies need to be given the same chances as

men

do.

Secondly

, there are some jobs that are painted as if they can only be led by

men

only,

This

means that as a female , it is almost impossible to take on the majority of

man

Fix the agreement mistake

men

show examples

because one ends up feeling excluded and

unworth

Correct your spelling

unworthy

show examples

For example

, a female individual can not lead the construction company due to the strength

that is

needed in construction, the heaviness of the work to be done and it becomes heavy for ladies to take it on,

therefore

it is always gents that take over the task. To sum up, l still completely believe that females must be given

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

opportunities

into

Change preposition

show examples

companies as long as they qualify to do the task and in

future

Add a comma

,future

show examples

everyone will

also

take it

normal

Change the adjective

normally

show examples

Submitted by Kally199226 on Sat Feb 12 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

228 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

gender disparity
glass ceiling
workforce representation
gender diversity
equal opportunity
professional advancement
social equality
gender equality
empowerment
barrier
discrimination
inequality
bias
reinforce
inclusive
combat
strive for
promote
nurture
enhance
progressive
implement
quota system

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Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that social media is a digital drug that has left many people addicted enhanced their lots of valuable time while others say social media has Enable Connectivity with the world. Discuss both views and give your opinion on the topic.

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other products from well-known brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

The pictures illustrate the changes in Shipsmouth between 1995 and 2010.

in some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age. Is this a possitive or negative development?