IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the amount of male and female in further education in Britain in three different years with ten years intervals,starting from 1970 and whether they were studying full-time or part-time.

The given bar chart illustrates the information about the number of males and females in
further
Linking Words
 education in Britain in three different years with ten years intervals,starting from 1970 and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. The general overview here is that there was the majority of studying part-time in both men and women over the period. According to the bar chart,it can be seen that ,in 1970, most of men students studying part-time,accounting for 1000
people
Use synonyms
,which was higher more than that of women rate. After two decades, its number dropped slightly to approximately 900
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of women part-time Study experienced an upward trend,rising from only 750
people
Use synonyms
 in1970 to around 1100 person in 1990,outnumbering male rate.
This
Linking Words
 figure was significantly higher almost four times than that of full-time learning in the same period.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there was a gradual growth in male full-time learning,from around 100
people
Use synonyms
 to over 200
people
Use synonyms
,between 1970 and 1990.
Likewise
Linking Words
, with a similar sharp acceleration of female full-time education throughout the period, its amount reached the same rate of men in 1990.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: