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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is beneficial for old people to learn something new while others believe that once a person is past 65 years of age it is too late to learn. What is your opinion?

#people #person #years #age
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Many edged
people
Use synonyms
 have been bringing information
in
Change preposition
into
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 their
life
Use synonyms
 at
post retirement
Add a hyphen
post-retirement
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
lead
Replace the word
led
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 to
upgrade
Wrong verb form
upgrading
show examples
 them day by day and
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
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 enthusiastic.On the other side, it is scientifically considered that it would be difficult for them to capture any task.In my view, elders with
healthy
Add an article
the healthy
a healthy
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mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 can grasp things but it is not the case for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
senior citizens.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss and elaborate
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 examples to justify it.
Firstly
Linking Words
,in
this
Linking Words
era
Add a comma
,era
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 most
crowd
Change to a plural noun
crowds
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 plan their
post retirement
Add a hyphen
post-retirement
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 in
proper
Add an article
a proper
the proper
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 manner.
However
Linking Words
,due to health issues,a poor memory might end to
adopt
Wrong verb form
adopting
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 changes.For
example
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For example
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,I have seen elder groups participating in laughing sessions,meditation and spending time with
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
nature.
This
Linking Words
 would eventually result to support them for
accpeting
Correct your spelling
accepting
 challenges and new learnings at
late
Add an article
a late
show examples
 age.I believe, loneliness after
Add a hyphen
career-ending
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career
Add an article
a career
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 ending drive pupil
surviving
Change the verb form
to survive
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 tough.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,keeping busy with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
social activities and
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 can share the
knowldge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the youngsters.To illustrate
this
Linking Words
,older
people
Use synonyms
 do
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consulting in industries to stay updated with the technology.
Secondly
Linking Words
,I admit in some cases age is just a number.
In other words
Linking Words
, willpower is very important to enhance the skills
for
Change preposition
of
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 everyone.
For instance
Linking Words
,edged citizens are working at higher management profiles in the businesses.
Obviosuly
Correct your spelling
Obviously
,
engaged
Correct article usage
an engaged
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 mind with productive things is more powerful.Still, there are
people
Use synonyms
 who want changes in
life
Use synonyms
 at
late
Correct article usage
a late
show examples
ege
Correct your spelling
age
 but
unable
Add a missing verb
are unable
show examples
 to do anything because of weak health,less energy.I think,accepting
challeges
Correct your spelling
challenges
 and
implement
Wrong verb form
implementing
show examples
 them on your
post retirement
Add a hyphen
post-retirement
show examples
 is not wrong at all.
Ambicious
Correct your spelling
Ambitious
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
 never
stop
Change the verb form
stops
show examples
 to concentrate and achieve where age
is not matter
Change the verb form
does not matter
show examples
. In conclusion,It is not compulsory to educate old
people
Use synonyms
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
, as some will prefer to de-stress their
life
Use synonyms
 and spend precious time
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
family.
Ofcaurse
Correct your spelling
Of course
,some would enhance the characteristics and rest in
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by urvashi.rawal26 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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