IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that reading stories from a book is better than watching TV or playing computer games for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #stories #book #tv #computer #games #children
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After
Covid
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the Covid
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 pandemic,
world
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the world
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 saw a paradigm shift in
the
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apply
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human behaviour and living patterns. Alike, all other segments of life, education for
children
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also
Linking Words
 turned from offline to online mode of learning. Apart from education at home,
children
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 spent
majority
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the majority
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 of
time
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their time
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 either in seeing television or competing in virtual games. It sparked a debate among the parents, teachers, educationists and child psychologists regarding screen exposure time per day for
children
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. Seeking
solution
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a solution
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,
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 agreed in shifting
focus
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the focus
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 of
children
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 to reading stories from various
books
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 rather than getting exposed to a screen.
Books
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 have always been the best companion to humankind, opening the wide horizons of knowledge and imagination. Recent
reseach
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research
 in a medical journal says, reading
books
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instead
Linking Words
 of watching TV, not only saves the eyes but
also
Linking Words
 improves the focus levels of the young ones. Affordable mobiles and cheap internet connections
has
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have
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 given direct access to the kids into
world
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the world
a world
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 of gaming
on
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in
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 cyberspace. Interactive games are sometimes violent in nature and
also
Linking Words
 poses threat to privacy and
leads
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lead
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 to bullying. Cases of danger to lives and
sucide
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suicide
 were
also
Linking Words
 seen before a year because of
“Blue
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the “Blue
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 Whale” game.
Dark
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The dark
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 web is known for illegal activities and trapping young
children
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 in their dirty activities has been easier than ever.
Children
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 being ignorant to the worst facets of the
world wide
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worldwide
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 web needs to be continuously monitored and encouraged to engage in other playful and knowledgeable activities. I firmly believe
,
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apply
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 that parents must act as catalysts in the process of reading
books
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 a habit for
children
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. With parental control,
books
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 suitable for reading according to
the
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apply
show examples
age and interest can be given to them. Stories of glorious history, science,
techonology
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technology
 & innovation will enlighten young minds, open their vivid imaginative thoughts resulting
into
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in
show examples
 a bright future for them.
Submitted by zankrut on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Imagination
  • Visualization
  • Complex vocabulary
  • Sentence structure
  • Focus
  • Concentration
  • Passive activity
  • Interactive activity
  • Gratification
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Cultural perspective
  • Historical perspective
  • Attention span
  • Educational enrichment
  • Cognitive development
What to do next:
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