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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some feel that schools should be mixed with both girls and boys attending while others feel the genders ought to be separated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#feel #schools #girls #boys #genders
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Co-ed schools have been commonplace in many countries.
Whereas
 some critics argue that it is the ideal teaching model for
students
, others believe that male and female
students
 should be taught separately. I agree with the latter as single-sex education has a myriad of benefits for
students
. Some critics concur that a co-ed
school
 allows
students
 to be better prepared for the real world.
This
 is because a co-ed
school
 is a microcosm of the real world where males and females collaborate. In a co-ed
school
,
students
 have innumerable opportunities to interact with people from the other
gender
 to build up their people skills and understand the nuances between the male and the female.
This
 allows them to be better at dealing with individuals from the other
gender
 when they grow up.
However
, I believe that single-sex education is superior. For starters, there are fewer distractions in uni-sex schools.
Instead
 of being bothered by relationship issues, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 prevalent in co-ed schools,
students
 could concentrate on their academic studies. On top of that, when
students
 study in a single-sex
school
, they are less likely to be exposed to
gender
 prejudices. In a
mix-sex
Correct your spelling
mixed-sex
show examples
school
,
for instance
, children are often discouraged by stereotypes like boys are naturally better in science subjects than girls.
In contrast
, in a single-sex
school
,
students
 are not being compared to the opposite
gender
 and they are encouraged to get the best out of themselves. In conclusion,
although
 having both genders studying in the same institution prepares
students
 for the future, it is much more redounded to the development of the children if they are in a single-sex
school
 as they have much fewer distractions and they are
also
 not hindered by
gender
 biases.
Submitted by youhua94 on

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task response
The essay provides a clear response to the topic question, addressing both views and presenting a clear opinion. However, there could be more detailed development of the ideas with stronger supporting examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and follows a clear pattern of introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in connecting ideas within and between paragraphs to enhance coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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