IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Employers should give their employees 4 weeks holiday each year so that they can do the job better.To what extent do you agree with this suggestion.

In
this
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day
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 and age, having short term vacation might cause a controversial problem while
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
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 assume that employers might
last
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 their
day
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 off to 4 weeks. From my point of view, I do believe an increase
of
Change preposition
in
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 vacation might be a legal right of each citizen. There are several significant advantages which are reasonable suggestions for businesses to permit workers to have an annual
day
Use synonyms
 off each year.
First
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 of all, numerous scientists have indicated that being stressed out for a long period of time might lead to various diseases
such
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 as degenerative spine which would be a main problem of seniors. If having a month holiday to take a rest and avoid working which would increase work quality.
For instance
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, Vietnamese employees could have a half month holiday which people could come back home for a long period of time live far from their house.
On the other hand
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, extending the length of holiday would cause various disadvantages .Numerous workers tend to earn their bonus money and quit their job . As a consequence, businesses might deal with the lack of workforce after a long term
day
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 off. The most common reason for that problem is having a better workplace with
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
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 salary.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, small firms might go bankrupt If they could not get through those difficulties. In conclusion, having more rest
Use synonyms
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
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 might be essential for every company to consider while there are still drawbacks.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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