IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that universities should provide gradates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.

#people #universities #gradates #skills #workplace #function #university #access #sake #course #employer
As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society develops, people are attaching
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
importance to
knowledge
.
Nonetheless
,
knowledge
 is divided into practical and academic ones. Views are
spited
Correct your spelling
spat
show examples
 into 2 stances which one side thinks universities ought to provide graduates with practical
skills
 and
knowledge
 required in the workplace whereas another side insists the true function of
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 university, which is to give access to
knowledge
. Given the rapid growth of technology, I hold the standpoint that immersing practical
knowledge
 to
gradates
Correct your spelling
graduates
show examples
 is the main function of
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 university. One point which I believe to be absolutely pivotal is the fact that being equipped with practical
skills
 and
knowledge
 helps graduates to obtain job offers drastically. In the era of Metaverse,
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 technology is changing
every-day
Correct your spelling
every day
show examples
, there is always
tight
Correct article usage
a tight
show examples
 time frame for people to get things done or to fix issues. In reality, when college students are competing for an internship position, chances are that the skillset requirements are actually not low, which they need more functional
knowledge
 so as to gain an internship opportunity, not to mention when job hunting in the society after graduating.
However
, it is an irrefutable fact that education itself coaches students analytical
skills
 and logical thinking. Many students may argue that those theories and models taught at school
doesn’t
Change the verb form
don’t
show examples
 apply to the real world. The throw of logic and analytical
skills
 they obtained from learning
those
Change the determiner
that knowledge
show examples
knowledge
,
however
, are actually influencing how they think and act in
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
. All in all, combining both actual work-related
skills
 and the soft
skills
 brought by
purely
Change the adverb
pure
show examples
knowledge
 can foster the pillar of the society for the sake of the society’s sustainable development.
Submitted by snoopylaw521 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: