IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

People today increasingly use credit cards to make monthly purchases. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #credit #cards #purchases #outweigh
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 people have been handling
credit
 cards in order to make online transactions. It goes without saying that it is unsafe to pay by
credit
card
, despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
 purchasing via
card
 has more beneficial features in comparison with
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
show examples
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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 of payment.
This
 essay will discuss
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative sides of
expending
Correct your spelling
expanding
show examples
 to acquisitions using
bank
Add an article
a bank
show examples
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
.
First
 of all, it is uncomfortable to spend your
money
 with banknotes, as a
rule
Add the comma(s)
,rule
show examples
 you will either be in search
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 trifles or you will have a possibility of cutting it.
This
 brings an advantage of
credit
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
 which is mobility.
For instance
, in a workshop there is an immense queue
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
 needs to purchase
money
, it will not be required to inspect your wallet for a lot of notes which may call a furious sense from the crowd, but
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
card
 will be given to a shop assistant and the payment will be ended.
Moreover
, it is time
savior
Change the spelling
saviour
show examples
, it has constantly been a problem where it is practically impossible to buy a certain tool in a physical shop,
nevertheless
, the purchase is possible in
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
 shop where you can restore a tool using
credit
Add an article
a credit
show examples
card
. Despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
previous benefits, managing bank
card
 have
also
 brought a lot of threats in terms of
money
 security. Frauds are the
first
 issue that has come from the start of purchasing via
credit
card
. As an illustration, in case if
card
Add an article
the card
a card
show examples
 is lost and captured by criminals it can
result
Add the preposition
inresult
fromresult
show examples
 a colossal suspicious activity
such
 as borrowing
money
 from local banks whereas
original
Correct article usage
the original
show examples
card holder
Correct your spelling
cardholder
show examples
 will be in
debts
Fix the agreement mistake
debt
show examples
. To sum it up, I tend to believe that holding a tool
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 makes online transactions possible is convenient. The drawback that was mentioned before is still a dangerous measurement to consider,
however
, mobility and opposing negativity from a people win against
this
 side. In the future, I think we will
also
 abandon
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
credit
 cards as well, but
instead
 invent new
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cashless transactions
  • Financial footprint
  • Interest rates
  • Credit score
  • Consumerism
  • Debt accumulation
  • Expenditure tracking
  • Fraudulent activities
  • Overspending
  • Purchase protection
  • Revolving credit
  • Creditworthiness
  • Impulse buying
  • Secured credit card
  • Unsecured credit card
  • Spending limit
What to do next:
Look at other essays: