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Band 5

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#tourism #industry #world #tension #people #cultures
In
this
 contemporary era, travelling becomes so easy and cheap that anyone can travel and visit another country. Some
people
 think that international tourism cause problems among different
natinalities
Correct your spelling
nationalities
,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 I tend to disagree with
this
 thought. In
this
 essay, I will discuss my opinion with a few examples. To understand the actual problem, we have to think about the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the question.
Instead
 of
acceptting
Correct your spelling
accepting
 the different perspectives, we started disliking other peoples cultures. If we talk about the
people
 who travel a lot, they actually enjoy exploring new places, traditions, food and culture.
If
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 fact, I strongly believe, linking tourism with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national problems is non-
relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
. Many good things we learn from different nationalities.
For example
, the
people
 in Japan are most organized in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of living their day to day life. They are punctual,
frendly
Correct your spelling
friendly
 and respectful. Anyone who visits Japan can
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
 learn many things. The problem
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 when we try to
judge
 other
countrie's
Correct your spelling
countries
country's
people
. We
compair
Correct your spelling
compare
 our life with others and start making a point.
People
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 not willing to understand and do not have
open
Correct article usage
an open
show examples
 mindset are tends to criticise other nationalities.
For example
, most
people
 in china eat non-veg food and some of their food items even include insects. Many
people
 try to
judge
 them on what they eat. we should not
judge
 anyone depending on what they eat or what they wear. To sum up, being open to
understand
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understanding
show examples
 and
accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
show examples
 the different cultures and the way of living, can change the perspectives. In
context
Add an article
the context
show examples
 of my views, experience and the points I
coverd
Correct your spelling
covered
cover
 in aforesaid paragraphs, I disagree that the
internativnal
Correct your spelling
international
 tourism
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 problems. We should always remember that "Do not
judge
 a book by
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 cover".
Submitted by sony.bansi on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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