IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#tourism #industry #world #tension #people #cultures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, travelling becomes so easy and cheap that anyone can travel and visit another country. Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that international tourism cause problems among different
natinalities
Correct your spelling
nationalities
,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 I tend to disagree with
this
Linking Words
 thought. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss my opinion with a few examples. To understand the actual problem, we have to think about the reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the question.
Instead
Linking Words
 of
acceptting
Correct your spelling
accepting
 the different perspectives, we started disliking other peoples cultures. If we talk about the
people
Use synonyms
 who travel a lot, they actually enjoy exploring new places, traditions, food and culture.
If
Correct your spelling
In
show examples
 fact, I strongly believe, linking tourism with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national problems is non-
relavent
Correct your spelling
relevant
. Many good things we learn from different nationalities.
For example
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 in Japan are most organized in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of living their day to day life. They are punctual,
frendly
Correct your spelling
friendly
 and respectful. Anyone who visits Japan can
definately
Correct your spelling
definitely
 learn many things. The problem
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 when we try to
judge
Use synonyms
 other
countrie's
Correct your spelling
countries
country's
people
Use synonyms
. We
compair
Correct your spelling
compare
 our life with others and start making a point.
People
Use synonyms
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
 not willing to understand and do not have
open
Correct article usage
an open
show examples
 mindset are tends to criticise other nationalities.
For example
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 in china eat non-veg food and some of their food items even include insects. Many
people
Use synonyms
 try to
judge
Use synonyms
 them on what they eat. we should not
judge
Use synonyms
 anyone depending on what they eat or what they wear. To sum up, being open to
understand
Replace the word
understanding
show examples
 and
accept
Wrong verb form
accepting
show examples
 the different cultures and the way of living, can change the perspectives. In
context
Add an article
the context
show examples
 of my views, experience and the points I
coverd
Correct your spelling
covered
cover
 in aforesaid paragraphs, I disagree that the
internativnal
Correct your spelling
international
 tourism
create
Change the verb form
creates
show examples
 problems. We should always remember that "Do not
judge
Use synonyms
 a book by
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 cover".
Submitted by sony.bansi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: