IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Human activities over the period of time have increased global warming. What are the primary causes? What solutions can you suggest?

#activities #period #time
Climate change is one of the serious
topic
Change to a plural noun
topics
show examples
 of the world. There is a huge surge in global warming due to
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
 amount of pollution. Using plastics and polluting water due to draining chemicals by factories are some of the major causes of
this
 issue. I will discuss these problems and solutions in my forthcoming essay.
Firstly
,
invention
Add an article
the invention
an invention
show examples
 of plastic has made our life easy but recycling not properly could be dangerous for
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Secondly
, the waste produced by factories are drained into the sea or
fresh water
Correct your spelling
freshwater
show examples
 could be hazardous for marine as well as for human life.
For instance
, in
India
Add a comma
,India
show examples
 many factories are situated near the sea areas releases tons of waste products into the water, which is perilous for the plants and fishes. These fishes are consumed by humans can cause Minamata disease. To solve
this
 problem recycling
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 should be more encouraged by the government. Campaigning could
also
 be beneficial for the environment by making people aware of the consequences created by them. Tough measures should be taken by the government for disposing of waste material could
also
 alleviate the problem.
For instance
, in some places of India plastics are
Add an article
a band
the band
show examples
band
Correct your spelling
banned
show examples
.
In addition
 to
this
 reusing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them and carefully
disposing
Add the preposition
ofdisposing
show examples
 can make a change in our climate. Our earth is precious.
Hence
 it is our responsibility to keep our planet safe and give a better place to live for our future generation.
Submitted by swatisnh09 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: