IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

SOME PEOPLE DO NOT ALLOW CHILDREN TO PARTICIPATE IN GAMES’ SPORTS OR COMPETITIONS UNLESS EVERYONE GETS A PRIZE. OTHERS THINK THAT CHILDREN MUST LEARN TO DEAL WITH WINNING OR LOSING IN ORDER TO BE FULLY PREPARED FOR LIFE.DISCUSS BOTH THE VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

#people #children #games’ #sports #competitions #prize #life
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Competition
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The competition
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 gives
challenge
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the challenge
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 to face the abilities. In school time , organized
competition
 some of the parents
not
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do not
did not
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 allow to take participate in sports.
This
 shows a loss to their
children
 for growth.
Firstly
, not letting kids in sports makes
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
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 lazier. They could never understand the meaning of taking challenges and
play
Wrong verb form
playing
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 physically and logically.
Moreover
, if parents or
teacher
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teachers
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 gave a chance to
children
 for play sports ,
then
their
Replace the word
there
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 must be
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
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 of activation
of
Change preposition
apply
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physically and get a chance to win prizes.
Furthermore
 , in order to by
competition
children
 learns the real meaning of losing or winning. They understood the truth of Life. And how to deal with it . They learn the meaning of growing with the flow no matter if
they
Correct your spelling
the
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loss
Replace the word
lose
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 or win . To conclude, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
,opinion
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 parents or teacher must
allowed
Change the verb form
allow
be allowed
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to
Change preposition
apply
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children
 to took
participation
Replace the word
participate
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 in
Add an article
the competition
show examples
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
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 in order to learn new things.
Submitted by writingpractice233 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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