IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

e planet’s population is reaching unsustainable levels, and people are facing a shortage of resources like water, food, and fuel. To what consequences may overpopulation lead? In your opinion, what measures can be taken to fight overpopulation?

#e #planet’s #population #levels #people #shortage #resources #water #food #fuel #consequences #overpopulation #measures #fight
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, the
population
 have been growing dramatically and leading towards
over utilisation
Add a hyphen
over-utilisation
show examples
 of natural resources, resulting in the depletion of those to a greater extent. I believe that we can collectively take
measures
together with
 the authorities to
control
 the depletion by spreading awareness
introducing
Correct word choice
and introducing
show examples
 certain rules.
This
 essay will list the
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 associated with overpopulation and provide
further
 details on
measures
 to
control
 the situation. To commence with, one of the major problems that are caused
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rapid
population
 growth is the
increases
Fix the agreement mistake
increase
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental concerns,
such
 as pollution, and deforestation leading to the loss of the habitat of the animals and threatening their existence.
Due to
 the increased number of individuals, there is a rise in the demand for land,
consequently
, leading to the cutting down of forests and occupying the space meant for them.
In addition
, we might not be able to maintain a proper healthcare system if the
population
 rate grows in the same trend. Lack of medical care,
for instance
, might affect the quality of our lives.
However
, there are a few
measures
 that can help us maintain our ecosystem and prevent overutilisation like spreading awareness and imposing certain laws.
Firstly
, initiating awareness campaigns to educate the negative impacts, especially in rural areas. They are not aware of the severity of the situation, so
this
 might help them realise the grave danger that we are anticipating if not controlled.
Similarly
, the government should come up with policies to
control
 the increasing number of individuals,
for example
, by giving free
births
Change the noun form
birth
show examples
control
 kits. In conclusion, it is evident that there are severe impacts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
population
 growth like loss of biodiversity,
over utilisation
Add a hyphen
over-utilisation
show examples
 of resources and scarcity in terms of medical help,
whereas
 these can be controlled and mitigated by taking
measures
 like educating the public about its dire impacts
along with
 the introduction of strict rules by the authorities.
Submitted by jabeenfarhana9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Expand on the consequences of overpopulation in more detail. Provide specific examples and statistics to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction that includes a thesis statement outlining the main points to be discussed in the essay. Also, provide a concluding paragraph that summarizes the key points and restates the thesis.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: