IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that the government should ban dangerous sports, but others think that people should have the freedom to do whatever sport activities they choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #ban #sports #freedom #sport #activities
Nowadays, dangerous
sports
such
 as bull riding, paragliding, scuba diving, etc are gaining popularity. Some
people
 believe the
government
 should
ban
such
 dangerous
sports
.Whereas, others believe that individual choices of
people
 should not be compromised.
However
, in my opinion,
people
 should be allowed to get themselves involved in whatever
sports
 they like, as long as they are aware of the negative consequences. In the following paragraphs, I shall discuss both views and explain why freedom of choice is important in the community. Games like paragliding, scuba diving, bull riding, and bungee jumping are highly dangerous. Getting involved in
such
sports
 can cause severe injuries, and sometimes death. Some
people
 believe that the
government
 should
ban
 these
activities
 because they think life is far more valuable than these short-lived enjoyments. They
also
 argue that it is necessary to
ban
 these
activities
 to keep a check on the individuals' safety .
Moreover
, if a
ban
 is imposed, it will stop
people
 from being involved in these
activities
.
People
 get involved in these
sports
 for pleasure and excitement without getting educated about the negative consequences. Rather it is important for
people
 to be aware of the dangers that exist in extreme
sports
.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 great number of
people
 who get involved in
such
activities
 are youngsters, and a
ban
 will undoubtedly limit their involvement in
such
 dangerous
sports
.
However
, others believe that the
government
 should not violate freedom of choice. Some
people
 are exceptionally well at performing these
activities
,
such
 as paragliding and scuba diving. Because of
this
 talent, they get to perform in events like the Olympics.
Moreover
, It is not right to exert control over the rights of individuals. If
people
 are well informed and educated about the negative consequences and still choose to involve themselves in these
sports
, the
government
 should not impose a
ban
 on them. A
ban
 will
also
 decrease individuals' participation rate in events like the Olympics, and their talents will go to waste. Given adequate training under expert surveillance, one can practice any game, no matter how dangerous it is. In conclusion,
although
 these
sports
 are extremely dangerous, I believe that the
government
 should not restrict
community's
Correct article usage
the community's
show examples
 choice to get involved in these
sports
 through the
ban
.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: